Author Stéphanie Poulin
Damn tv show that makes you shed all the tears of your body and which makes you understand that since 19 months, your life has completely changed. You no longer exist. Your life as a couple no longer exists. You do not have a social life.
On January 29, 2018, I gave birth to our beautiful Novak and his chromosome of happiness.
On February 12, 2018, the same pediatrician who confirmed that Novak had T21 2 weeks ago, looks at me and says:
I know I can talk to you openly, I see you’re strong enough. Kathleya is TSA.
BANG !!! I was happy in a way because I knew for a long time that my daughter was different, but to get it confirmed it’s something else.
Out of the clinic, I took my daughter in my arms, put her in the car seat and I drove while crying. Dad was waiting for us at home. I came to snuggle in his arms, only one word came out … TSA.
Our routine goes between crisis management, the eyes of others, explanations, appointments with specialists, …. and no tear has flowed in relation to the TSA of my daughter from that point. I have never been the same person again.
One (1) year after, we had the diagnosis of our son Nikolai.
Oh that it hurts !!! I did not have tears, I screamed my life. The worst thing about this story is that for Niko, we already knew it but had to have the dx anyway. I took the steps to get it recognized. But as long as you do not have the paper in your hands, it’s as if you hope you see signs everywhere without it being real.
Some days, I would so love to have neurotypical children, so I can have a normal parent’s life, return to work, have a social life ….. and I feel so selfish to have such thoughts.
But no! I would not change my children for nothing.
These are MY children! Atypical or neurotypical, they are my darling who just need their mom. And all that I lost, I only won x 1000 with them. And I would fight until my last breath so that our different children would be accepted like any other children in our society.