Adoption: Tell or Not?

Author Rhonda Mackey

My parents adopted me at the age of 3 days old . They brought me right home from the hospital where my birth mother had given birth to me. From the time I can recall I knew that I was adopted My parents explained to me that I was chosen, that they went out of their way to get me and that I was very very special to them and loved like no other.

When I became a bit older and was able to better understand they explained to me that though they had tried they had been unable to have biological children themselves and that they searched long and hard for me and went through a long process to adopt me again stressing that they chose ME!

My favorite story comes from when I was in 2nd grade. While many of my friends knew I was adopted, one of my classmates did not know and had just learned that day and thought it’d be funny to make fun of “ the adopted kid” Long story short he was the one who went home crying that day as my response to him after he made fun of me was Really, you think it’s so funny that I’m adopted? Well my parents CHOSE me, they WANTED me. For all we know you could just be one big huge MISTAKE and your parents are STUCK with you! They have NO choice! He cried, I got in trouble for my smart mouth , lol.

But that’s how I grew up feeling about being adopted! Special, chosen, honored. I have the greatest parents in the world. And just last year ( I’m 53 years old now, my birth mother actually located me and we connected! It was truly amazing! I learned that she was forced by her parents to give me up for adoption and that she’s celebrated my birthday every year for over 50 years!!!! She is incredible. We visited and we stay in close touch now. I am truly doubly blessed now. This year my Mom and my birth mom plan to meet, that should be a treat. My Mom will forever and always be my MOM! But I thank my birth mom for making the choice to give me life and give me the wonderful life that I’ve been afforded!

Children should always be told about their adoption as early as possible at an age appropriate way and then build on the story from there. I’ve had friends who’s parents have waited until later and the results have been disastrous. They’ve felt deceived , lied to and wondered what else their parents haven’t been honest with them about.

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